What Keeps Me Going (Part 2)

For awhile I've been having some struggles with my call to be here. Those close to me have heard most about it and are probably sick of it by now. For reasons I don't totally understand, I've been taken over by poverty-- a poverty of faith and hope in what ASP is really capable of. Because of this I've spent a lot of time thinking not about why I was called here to begin with, but why I, amidst all the negativity, feel called to stay.

Here are a few reasons:

Though we can't do much about the 27% of adults in the county who can't read ...

... or the county's ranking for most meth-related deaths of any county in the nation (2 per month) ... 

... or that the couple pictured above have been denied custody of their grandchildren and have to drive 2 hours away once a week to play with them at a park for 1 hour ...

... or that 13.8% of adults in the county haven't finished high school and only 4.8% have obtained a college degree ...

... we can make warmer, safer and drier places for families to have a place to prioritize education, health, jobs, etc.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Need, something I was taught by my high school english teacher, has become an integral part of my understanding of society. The pyramid-shaped figure explains that some needs are required by all humans to be met, in an exact order, before the final option of transcendence and enlightenment. The first are basic needs, such as food, water, sleep, etc. The second thing is safety, which is where ASP comes in--we can create environments that make people feel safe and warm and secure. Some people say that poverty is a symptom of laziness, that people don't fix their homes because they don't want to do the work. This is entirely untrue and Maslow tells us why: people don't think to fix their homes because they're still stuck on level one, just trying to meet basic needs. They aren't lazy, they just have other priorities. So ASP does not enable people to be lazy, we enable people to move up through the hierarchy and free up some of their time and resources to be spent making their lives better. I think most volunteers understand this idea about ASP, but there's another part that most people forget which is that we provide the third level to people as well-- acceptance. The unconditional and radical love we provide to people who perhaps haven't had the chance to seek that out for themselves is an incredible gift. I feel blessed to work for an organization that allows me to be a part of so many amazing life changes and I hope that I never forget that again.

Of course, hanging out with a pile of puppies is a pretty great part of my job, too.

"Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you." Psalms 63:3

An ASP Christmas Story

This past weekend a youth group came to Guyan Valley with decorations and food for a huge Christmas party and presents for almost 50 kids and grandkids of the families we have served this fall. It was an amazing party and I felt rejuvenated getting to work with youth again--their joy and full hearts for service (for the RIGHT reasons) is refreshing and gives me hope that some things can really be changed through this organization. From previous volunteer group donations we were able to line our whole hallway with tables of clothes, shoes, toys and games for all ages so that families could go "shopping." One parent was asked to go to a secret room where all the presents were wrapped, at least 5 boxes per child and then an extra gift for the household, and some of the youth carried the gifts out to the car while the kids did crafts. There was a wonderful lunch for everyone and afterwards Christmas carols, a nativity pageant (done by the children of our families) and a visit from Santa! The whole weekend was incredible and definitely what I needed to re-center on why I feel called to be here.

On Monday night we had an office Christmas party in Johnson City, TN that was pretty fun as well. It started with a great meal, some Christmas trivia and an encouraging speech from our CEO, Walter Crouch. The folks in headquarters are very interesting outside of the office and it was great getting to know them better. We also got to spend some time with the other Lilly Fellows and we always enjoy having some time to relax together outside of work.

We're back to work in the morning, but only for a few days until I get to go home on Monday!

Merry Christmas from the Guyan Valley Staff!

Emotions and Some Good Music

"Rivers and Roads" -- by The Head and The Heart

One Sunday, Three Churches

This morning I went to church with Mary to the Presbyterian church she loves and has been begging me to try. Since there are at least 2 churches in every holler, you're hard pressed to find any congregation larger than about 12, and that's exactly the attendance of Pineville Pres on a given Sunday. I was at my home church last weekend and I have to say I'm feeling blessed to have grown up in such a large community of Christians. Mary loves the small feel and how everyone knows each other, but I had to laugh when the offering plates had made their way around the entire chapel within 45 seconds. They alternate between two lay pastors since there is not currently an ordained minister employed there but it was an endearing service and everyone seemed genuinely thrilled to have me there.

Pineville Presbyterian Church

After the church service we went down to the state park for lunch, picked up some Christmas presents at the lodge and then went hiking on a new trail. We didn't get to see the waterfalls but it was a breathtaking hike--in the literal and poetic sense since it was basically straight uphill for the first 1/2 mile. Once we were at the top, we found an incredible spot overlooking the trees. Oh, by the way, it was 70 degrees today, did I mention that? We sat in silence and enjoyed our second church of the day, made especially for us by God. After awhile we had a really great conversation about how we know God exists because trees exist...sounds crazy, I know, but what have we really done to deserve this kind of beauty in our lives? Here was our chapel:

On our way back from the park we stopped at the Rite-Aid to get some things for our Advent Calendar and ran into a woman from church this morning. She was headed to the church next door for their "Streets of Bethlehem" event. We had no idea what it was, but we followed her anxiously. We signed in and received an advent devotional, a Christmas ornament and a fake coin that we were told we would give to the tax collectors inside. Once inside the church, we realized the incredible thing we had stumbled upon--they had changed their whole church to look just like the ancient street would have looked when Mary and Joseph were arriving. There were carpenters, bakers (we got gingerbread!) rug and tent makers, spice and herb sellers, even beggars asking for our coins. All the vendors signs were written in Hebrew and the people wore the simple robes of the time. There was also a little boy running around asking if anyone had seen his lamb. It was so magical. We then got ushered into a room where a Rabbi was talking about God and expressing his confusion about the Messiah he had heard of, then he read Psalm 121 all in Hebrew. Next we were asked to go downstairs where a real live sheep, goat, and donkey were waiting next to an empty stable. The play began and we watched a beautifully performed Nativity scene. At one point the sheep and goat actually curled up next to each other and just stared at Mary and baby Jesus. Then the narrator explained that the most joyful part about the beginning of this story is actually the ending when Jesus saves humanity. All in all, it was a really inspiring event that must have taken so much work and dedication. I just love how open people are about their faith around here and how in one day we had found three radically different ways to worship.

Part of the nativity play

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you..." James 4:8

Thoughts on thoughts on thoughts

Even with all the things that there was to say about Thanksgiving because of how relevant this holiday is to anyone immersed in poverty, I've had this "New Post" page open and blank for weeks. I wasn't planning to share a list of things I'm thankful for or anything typically expected from a Thanksgiving-time blog. In fact, the feelings I've been trying to find the words for are mostly negative and represent some hard truths about my job. So spoiler alert: if you're content just seeing pretty pictures of West Virginia and puppies, and thinking that I'm spending my days surrounded by extraordinary Christians who are working together to change the world, then stop reading now and enjoy this picture of my new home in autumn.

I think that I initially hesitated to write this out because of the way that the following words will portray my volunteers. So first, some important disclaimers:

1. All the funny GIFs about how they're all morning people or all skeptical of my construction knowledge, are just that--funny GIFs. Although annoying at times, none of that trivial stuff is contributing to these thoughts.
2. The main issue, thankfully, does NOT apply to all the volunteers who come through our center
3. I am well aware of my own flaws and do not mean to stand on a high horse and judge the people around me, but I do intend to share some of my observations of adults who are still learning to walk like Christ.

I think the major thing that I've noticed is the heartbreaking and faith-shaking difference between youth and adults. When the kids struggle with "getting it" we can just say, "That's okay, they're just 15 and have an attitude. They'll get there eventually." With them, the seeds are planted, our hands are washed, and our minds are cleared. But these adults are just superglued on my heart. When a grown, mature Christian (even leaders of congregations) doesn't "get it" there is no excuse that I can readily find--they should know better, right?

I find that I am even more disgruntled by the simple lack of hope in some volunteers. Why drive all this way and give us all this money if you don't believe that there is good progress being made because of your work? Too many times I've been confronted by someone who feels that their task for the week is not important or crucial enough, or that the family they're serving isn't Christian enough, grateful enough, or helping them enough. Through this it just becomes obvious to me that these people are here only in a self-serving capacity. They come to ASP for the transformation of lives--but deep down they're really expecting the biggest impact to be on themselves and get upset with us when this doesn't happen. I just can't understand the idea of doing good deeds not for the sake of the deed itself but in order to receive praise and recognition. Recognizing this in others has been somewhat of a wakeup call, a blessing in disguise really, just because now I am much more conscious of this behavior in myself, especially as it relates to ASP but also to my future career in medicine. One thing that people often say about ASP is that you never know just where God will hit you--this is why in the youth program we share our God Moments from the week. I think it says a lot that this is not a tradition in the adult program, and even if it was, I'm very afraid that it would be a pretty quiet evening. So herein lies my inherent struggle with the issue: is it right to volunteer your time and energy to a cause, even if your reasons for doing so are not wholly selfless? Do we turn away volunteers who disagree with us or who cause conflict? This is, afterall, a Christian organization, so how far do we go in challenging these "Christians" in their faith by confronting them about their hypocrisy?

An even worse consequence of this volunteer negativity is its effect on my attitude towards ASP. This place has always been an amazing adventure where you can really feel as though you're changing things. Now, being slapped in the face by the ideas of these experienced adults who blatantly doubt the effect that ASP actually has on the community has caused me to lose a little of my bright-eyed hope. And the worst part? The only thing that could help these volunteers to regain some of that energy for change is the positivity from me and my coworkers--the very thing that their words and actions work to destroy. And for the most part, they're right--poverty is a cycle, and treating the symptoms of it cannot eradicate the cause. But it's the main principle of ASP that is unique and uplifting, and something that most long-term volunteers lose sight of. Sure, we cannot rebuild the coal industry, make people work to get off welfare, or provide healthy food options in the Appalachian food deserts, but we CAN provide an unconditional, radical love to people who may have never experienced it before. We can say, "Don't worry, just sit right there and we'll just completely love the crap out of you." And then, an incredible seed is planted and a door is opened into a world where everyone knows about this kind of love and how to share it with each other and in that way maybe some part of the poverty cycle can begin to break. It is beyond words how powerful unconditional love can be, and we can never know how our example may serve in the future.

Over the holidays I've had many healing conversations with people about this topic that has been weighing so heavily on my heart, but I still believe that I have a lot more to learn and understand about humanity, Christianity and the human condition. We have new volunteers coming this weekend and I'm hopeful that they can turn my opinions around at least for a few days and maybe longer. The most important thing I realized from all the conversations is that while the volunteers may not be able or willing to extend the kind of love expected of Christians to our families, I'm still expected to show this love to the volunteers, and perhaps in that way nourish a few seeds. Gotta say though--it's pretty hard.

"If anyone says, 'I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen." 1 John 4:20

#whatshouldwecallme ASP Staff

My biggest problem with living down the hall from a fully stocked industrial kitchen:

When a volunteer tells me to "wake up and smile!!" at 6:30am:

When I see a puppy on a worksite:

When I find mix cds made by past staffers that got left in our warehouse:

When volunteers suggest taking us out for pizza so we don't have to eat the "tri-meat" sandwiches:

When volunteers offer to teach me how to use a basic power tool:

When volunteers leave behind cowboy boots in my size:

 When someone asks me where to find the drywall screws while standing next to the labelled boxes:

When I remember that I'm leaving TOMORROW to go see my best friends at home:

November Numbers

With 234 volunteers over 39 work days, we have accomplished so much for our 17 families here in Wyoming County.

Here is the latest numbers rundown of our projects:

4 roofs
6 sets of steps
16 floors repaired/replaced
4 porches
4 wheelchair ramps
2 bathroom remodels (with ceramic tile!! aka warmer, safer, drier AND fancier.)
1 bedroom addition
17 rooms drywalled/painted
10 windows repaired/replaced
4 houses sided/painted
5 doors replaced
3 new sets of kitchen cabinets (1 with a previously non-existent kitchen sink)
6 drainage/guttering projects

How awesome is that? Can't wait to find out what else we can accomplish this year!

Late Fall WyCo

Today is the end of our mad rush of volunteers. I'm planning to sleep and then maybe go hiking, but it's cold and rainy. However today might be the best day to go since they're expecting the fallout from Hurricane Sandy to be pretty substantial here--10 inches of snow by Monday.The snow won't stick because it's been 80 degrees all this week, but it will be wet and heavy and take out a lot of trees that still have lots of leaves. Because of this, they're also predicting up to 10 days without electricity (which for us includes our water because it is not gravity fed from the mines or a water tower, but from the pump house in the yard.) So it's starting to look a bit like Y2K in here-- filling up all our gas tanks, water coolers and pantries. Should be an interesting time, but at least we have candles, board games, blankets, and oh yeah, FIVE generators in our construction warehouse. I think we'll be just fine, but I'm even more glad we won't have volunteers for awhile.

"I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, Maker of Heaven and Earth." Psalms 121:1-2

Life is a GIft

I have two pretty valid excuses for why it has taken me so long to write a new post: We have a TON of people here this week, including the church who donated all of the money to refurbish our center (and because of them, our CEO is also here to shmooze..) AND my computer broke. Since I'm now using a loaner computer from one of my staffers with a space bar that requires much force to use, I'll be pretty brief.

The story of my computer is sad and uninteresting, but it is related to a more interesting yet more terrifying story of my recent car crash. Driving home from Beckley where I had gone in an effort to fix my computer (all on my day-off), I had a most frightening driving experience. Thankfully, there were no other people, cars, or animals involved--just me and a very, VERY well-made guardrail. I am perfectly fine (incidentally, seatbelts are nifty inventions) and my car sustained very minor damage (also bumpers are great, too). I learned two pretty big lessons from this, my first big accident:

1. Drive slower
2. Life is pretty special

I hate to be dramatic and talk about how "life flashed before my eyes" but there was a split second where I was pretty convinced I was going to break through the rail and go over the cliff. All I thought was how it was an awful place for one of those road-side crosses to be and how sad my parents were going to feel. Morbid enough for anyone?

Since I am alive and here to write this blog (which is no doubt about to cause my Nana a partial heart attack), I have to believe that some kind of force kept me on the road and safe. I realize, too, that everyone is kept safe each day, most in much less obvious situations. Every day we wake up is another day we've been given to do something great. It's pretty awesome to know that God knows best and will give us enough time to accomplish lots of amazing things for Him. I'm going to work really hard to make it so that the next time (which will hopefully not be soon) it seems like I'm at the end of my life, I can know that I've used it well.

To recap: I am OKAY, just feeling very blessed to be able to do more great works.

"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

My life in GIFs

The following idea stolen from Margie White:

When people ask me what I'm doing for my day off:

When I get an awesome package in the mail:

When volunteers ask me if I know the difference between treated and finished lumber:

When morning devotions are about to start:

When I drive to the top of a mountain and get 10 seconds of cell service:

When we find out that there's a plumber or electrician coming to volunteer:

When someone finally finds what they were looking for in the warehouse in exactly the place I told them to look an hour ago:

When a project gets finished...AND is done correctly:

When I'm already having a rough day and then get stuck behind a coal truck:

When I think I missed a turtle save but it turns out to only be a leaf in the road:

Life and Death and Puzzle Pieces

Today a very close family friend passed away. This was somewhat expected, but nevertheless difficult, confusing, and painful, as any death. In thinking about all the "why" questions that death always brings, I feel extra comforted by a devotion that was recently presented to me.

Imagine that God has given each of us a puzzle piece. This piece represents our life and all the things we will accomplish. If you look at an individual puzzle piece it's generally just a mess of colors, completely confusing and hard to understand. Could it be water? Maybe a tree? There is no way to know what this piece contains, why it is shaped the way that it is and in what way its colors and shapes will be used. An even more uncomfortable thing about this puzzle piece life is that we will never, ever know what the finished picture is supposed to look like. We simply have faith that we are important and that our lives are meant to touch and share and connect with other lives in someway that will all contribute to this great plan--the final puzzle that only God can understand.

Seek God's love, not God's answers.

Thanking Him everyday for the good health of my own family.

Updates

Today, while channeling a little bit of home by wearing my dad's old painters pants, my grandpa's shirt, and a hat from where my parents had their honeymoon, I spent the last 4 hours of my day helping a crew finish a roof. This brings our stats for the last month of work to the following:

- 2.5 new roofs
- 3 wheelchair ramps
- 1 new window
- 3 houses with new siding/painting
- 5 new floors
- 4 new doors
- 1 new bathroom
- 8 walls drywalled
- 4 new porches
- 2 drainage ditches
- 1 retaining wall

Gotta say--not bad. Also, definitely safe to say I'm pretty blessed to be working for an organization that can do so much good through so many good people.

New walls and floor

New ramp

New roof that I helped finish today! Also note the amazing view!

New bathroom with handicap shower and brand new ceramic tile

"Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God." Hebrews 13:16

WyCo In The Fall

Sky on fire

Leaves are changing! 

"He cuts out rivers among the rocks; and his eye sees every precious thing." Job 28:10

What Keeps Me Going (Part 1)

Favorites

"Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor." Romans 12:10

October.

Today, October 1st, marked the beginning of the month with a workload from hell. We now have 60+ volunteers each week who leave Sunday morning and arrive Sunday afternoon. On one hand it's exciting to have this many people (and the respective increase in our budget) to complete projects and serve more of our families, but mostly it's just exhausting--mentally, physically and emotionally.  Today was made slightly better when one of my group leaders who recognized that I was having a stressful day (standard Monday) bought me some of the candy that I had listed as my favorite on my staff bio. It's raining a lot lately and we have 2 half completed roofs and crews that have been relocated to different indoor projects. Communication and organization is still a struggle for my staff but we're improving and I'm currently in the process of creating a massive excel file database of all of our applications so we can find good projects easier as we will need new ones in the coming weeks.

My church had their ASP Sunday yesterday and it was sad to not be a part of that and hear from the youth the things they experienced (no doubt the same things I experienced that drew me to this ministry 7 years ago). I find that I'm only not homesick because I don't have time to be.  For now, I'm tired and happy, each morning seeming to find new energy without coffee!

"Cast your burdens upon the Lord and he will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." Psalms 55:22

More WyCo

If you're still wondering what I do most days, here's this from my daily drive:

Also these:

Wyoming County is finally starting to see some leaves changing and it is already so beautiful. I'll continue to post pictures as fall comes into full swing. Our projects are also coming along really well (with the exception of our roofing jobs, which were open during the rainstorms this week..typical) and we finally got plumbing in our apartment! I'm a little sad because we finished work on my favorite house this week. It belongs to an adorable old couple. Neither of them have teeth or can hear what you say the first time--they'll both respond to you (at the same time) with a very southern "heh?" when you ask them anything. I spent most of my time at their house sitting with them on their front porch getting teased by the husband who regularly asks me if I'm actually going to do any work that day. Whenever I would ask the wife if what we were doing was okay with her (new tile in the shower, paint colors, etc.) she always just told me that I was at home, so I could do whatever I wanted. She also frequently told me that she was "tickled to death" by our bathroom remodel. I've heard endless stories about their huge family (their 60th anniversary is next month!) and about their life together in this house that has been passed down through the generations. They're the sweetest people and I'm bummed that we ran out of projects there and won't be introducing new volunteers to them, but they promised me chicken and dumplins anytime I want to come by, so I'll hold onto that.


"Then Jesus said to them, 'Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of posessions.'" Luke 12:15

Wild and Wonderful West Virginia Weekend

This weekend was amazing and full of travel, incredible mountain views, and lots of great friends.

First off, it started with a pretty great phone conversation:

A group leader from one of this week's churches called wanting information about the projects that we had assigned to her two crews. I explained that we had placed their whole church on one trailer, one crew inside working on a bedroom floor (which is currently pretty much non-existant) and the other crew working on a wheelchair ramp outside. I then explained that although the projects were standard ASP work, the family would be a different and difficult situation and this was why we had chosen their experienced group. I was really nervous that she would be upset when I described the undiagnosed but obviously present mental disabilities in the home as well as the severe health disabilities of the mother and daughter (hip replacements and scoliosis, respectively) because of the daunting nature that this family situation presents to volunteers. Immediately though, she had the exact opposite reaction than I was expecting. She went on to explain that there was an older woman coming with them (their pastor's wife) who had recently had much anxiety about what her role could possibly be as she doesn't know much construction and worried she would just be in the way. The "God Moment" came then when I was told that this woman has a son with severe scoliosis and has been working with mentally disabled patients for the better part of 25 years. We shared that sweet moment together on the phone where we could both appreciate how awesome God really is, and how He will always find a way to use us in service, even if we don't know how quite yet. It all reminded me of the quote: "God does not always call the equipped, but He will always equip the called." I'm really excited to meet this woman and share in her experience of blindly answering this call to serve.

Returning to the story of my weekend! Mary and I drove from Brenton, WV to Jonesville, VA to pick up my car. Then we headed out to Johnson City/ Kingsport, TN with the Jonesville staff to hang out with the Tri-Cities staff for the night. It was so great to relax with all the people who understand best how badly we really needed to just be and share our stories. Along our drive we definitely took the scenic route, stopping at every lookout for pictures and in Pikeville, KY to see the gravesites of some of the Hatfields and McCoys (where I had some delicious fried green tomatoes for lunch!)

The next morning I woke up fairly early and drove to Bluefield, WV where I was on summer staff in 2010. Since my weekends are all screwed up I never actually seem to know what day it is and I totally forgot that it would be Sunday so the hardware store would be closed and I couldn't visit with people there. I went to lunch with two of my favorite people of all the families we worked for that summer, and then spent the whole day with one of them just driving around and finding the best view of Bluefield. (Note: It's from the top of a new private subdivision that we snuck into. Worth it.) Our picnic in 2010 was in Bluefield State Park and the whole summer they had been building a train (for kids, but obviously awesome for everyone) but we never had gotten to ride it. Apparently it was finished recently and I finally got to experience the magic! It even went through a tunnel!! Mary met up with me later in Bluefield and after running a few errands while we were still in "civilization" (in WV any town with a Walmart = civilized) we started our drive back to Brenton. On the way, just outside of Bluefield, we stopped at Pinnacle Rock to watch the sunset over the mountains. We got some incredible pictures and met a few unique people-- an Appalachian documentary photographer, and a motorcyclist who was spending a few days off of work riding around Appalachia with no particular destination in mind. Once we got back on the road, it got dark fast and we spent the next couple hours driving through a bunch of sleepy mining towns set back into the hills.

"I lift mine eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1-2

Mary and me at the RD Bailey Overlook near our center

Sunset from Pinnacle Rock State Park near Bluefield, WV

More of Wyoming County

A bridge to one of our future projects. We're planning to have this rebuilt so we can work on their home as well

Can you tell this was taken nice and early in the morning?

Horse ranch near one of our projects

RD Bailey Lake

"Blaze," one of our homeowner's dogs

RD Bailey Lake