March, Already?

Wednesday, February 26th- Thursday, February 27th:
I've experienced 23 months of February in my life and I am still always surprised at how short it actually is. I said before that I would try to find something beautiful about each day until volunteers arrived in March. I suppose you could say that it was my own kind of unconventional celebration of Lent, just not at the same time as everyone else. Folks, today is the last day of February which means that I have completed my task and made it through the winter. Many of my friends have told me that they don't feel like their lives are interesting enough to write a blog about. I disagree, fundamentally because I care about all of them and would love to know what they're thinking all the time, but also as a result of my "beauty experiment." I'd like to challenge those friends to do a similar thing, even privately in a journal, to write down something each day--something beautiful, funny, inspiring, whatever. Guarantee the blogosphere would become instantly more exciting. Once you're seeking out those experiences they seem to just happen for you. I often found that I was saying "yes" to more offers simply because I thought, "hey, maybe something beautiful will happen and then I can write about it!" Maybe that will start happening to some of my friends.

My roommates and I were chatting about a book that we're reading, called "The Irresistible Revolution" by Shane Claiborne, and an idea in it (and in a lot of other places) that "God comforts the disturbed and disturbs the comfortable." I realized that maybe I had become too comfortable with my idea of ASP, its ministry and its place in my life, with my relationship with God, and with my standard ways of finding Him. So, he sent some people and situations my way that really messed with all that, disturbed me a lot and forced me to ask, to seek, to simply knock. Well played, God, well played. In the end I have to be grateful for those uncomfortable and faith shaking times that brought me to today, feeling happy and blessed but hopefully not too comfortable.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7

Now, I know what you might be thinking--don't worry, I know that I'm not off the hook for finding beauty in the last two days of February. Nicki and I have been doing initial home visits (IHVs) and project planning this whole week, and I've been told that people enjoy laughing at my GIFs...so here are some dedicated specifically to IHVs. Beauty in laughter never gets old.

How we feel with our polos and nametags on:

Finding a house on the first try:

Backing the truck into a ditch and/or side of a mountain:

Me in any given driveway:

When a school bus comes towards us on a one lane road:

When directions to a house include "large rock in yard" "stump near driveway" or "turn by twisted tree":

When the house has puppies:

Breadstickz 4 Lyfe

Sunday, February 24th:
Unlike myself my roommate/coworker Amber has found a really wonderful Mormon church community nearby where she goes most Sundays. The leader of her congregation has a large family and every Sunday evening they set the table for 18 people and whoever shows up gets to eat, biological family or not. We were all invited (pretty much any Sunday we want) but today Amber and I headed down into Pineville and then up to the top of the mountain to their home for dinner. It's a gorgeous little home that they built themselves and has an incredible panoramic view of mountains and trees. We spent most of dinner being entertained by 7 year-old Isaac and his 3 year-old sister Braylynn. While Isaac went the academic route; quizzing us on dinosaurs, math problems, and what his favorite fish are (#1 whale shark, #2 flying fish, #3 all other sharks, by the way), his sister went the artistic route; playing (hitting) the piano, singing (making up the words to) songs, and just general stage performance (climbing to the top of things and yelling "ta-da!") Add in some homemade chicken and tortilla soup (and I don't even usually like soup) and you know it was a good night. Even though I was intimidated by the Church of Latter Day Saints worship service playing on the TV when we first walked into the house, the whole evening turned out to be incredible. It was nice to feel like we were in a real home with a real family at a real family dinner, even this far from our actual homes in Michigan.

Monday, February 25th:
Here's a pop-quiz:

Q: How do you know when you have a great roommate?
A: When you're trying to decide where to go for dinner, and your suggestion of "Olive Garden" is met with an emphatic "YES."

Q: How do you know when you have one of the best roommates in DA WORLD?
A: When it's 7pm and, yeah, that Olive Garden you mentioned? It's an hour away. Without blinking she's already halfway to the car with a new driving playlist and a look in her eye that says "I'd do anything for a breadstick."

Here's to (easily) finding beauty in the breadsticks.

Tuesday, February 26th:
I know that I've used the whole "beauty in productivity" thing a lot during my attempt at making the days seem more positive, but I truly think that feeling accomplished is so important. Maybe I'm still used to late nights in school when I was in the library last minute writing a paper, or coming home from class knowing that I really should be studying tonight instead of watching 16 & Pregnant with my best friend and his roommates...but having a 9-5 job (that is, when volunteers aren't here) throws me off. I always feel like it's not possible to just shut off at 5:00. Maybe that's just because I'm controlling, I don't know. Filling an 8 hour day with tangible evidence that I've been working hard, though, is a good way to overcome that feeling of "I could be doing more" which is certainly unhealthy if you're already doing a lot. Today we got organized for at least the first two weeks of March and the way these crews have been working, it seems hard to believe that there will be any substandard housing left in the county when I leave in September. We found at least two new long-term projects and tied up some loose ends at various families' homes. (Sidebar on that: it's a really neat feeling to walk back into a home we worked on almost 4 months ago and find that the relationships we built are still there.)

The best part about a truly productive day is when you accomplish a lot but still had time for being silly. When I was at home a family friend gave me this hat and asked that I put a picture of me in it on my blog. So here you go, Paula! :)

In the "Konstruct-shun Korner"--so named because of the local hair salon called "Hair K-Nect-Shun"

Puppies and Sunshine

Wednesday, February 20th:
No matter what the season, there is always unspeakable beauty in human connections. Today I was blessed to be invited to be present when the volunteers gave their homeowner her prayer shawl. These are pretty common things in ASP-land--a lot of churches make them, bless them, and send them down with the crews. The church we have with us now has a pretty special ritual that includes a sweet blessing over the family and the home when the shawl is presented to them. We usually let the volunteers have their own special time with families and try not to intrude, but they insisted that I was welcome, and the family had made homemade peach cobbler, so how was I going to say no? When they placed the shawl around the grandmother's shoulders she started crying and then came to hug all of us after they had read the prayer. It was an incredible moment. I always feel that showing vulnerability with tears is an unconscious acknowledgement of a feeling of comfort and safety within that relationship and I'm so proud of the volunteers for building such a strong bond--after only 3 days! I'm uplifted by these little moments with volunteers and families that help remind me of all the unseen goodness behind the construction we do.

Thursday, February 21st:

I wrote before about how one of our homes was recently destroyed in a fire. Tonight the family came to see us at the center and it was wonderful to get to hug them and see that they're physically okay, even though the emotional damage is hidden. The daughter is almost ready to have her baby and we were excited to be able to provide them with some blankets and other basic supplies that volunteers have prayed over and donated to our center. Up until tonight we had only been able to communicate with the family through other people, so it made my heart happy just to get to hug them. I can't imagine the devastation I would feel to lose my childhood home, or as a mother and grandmother to lose the home and belongings where I had raised them.

Also, more puppies today!

Friday, February 22nd:
We had 4 work crews today scattered all around the county. While this is nothing compared to the summer and what it will be in March, things were insanely overwhelming. The groups who have been here all week have finished, in five days, all the things we had planned on their houses through the middle of March. And the new group that arrived last night is working at about the same speed. As much as we love getting to help more people when projects are completed sooner than we thought, volunteers who work beyond what our budget allows is a slight problem. So tonight I'm picking out lots more applications (some as old as 2011) that we can visit this next week and hopefully be able to help this spring. Even though I've had some issues with a lot of the changes within ASP lately, I don't think I'll ever lose the feeling I get when I remember how incredible this organization can be. I believe we are changing lives and that's beautiful.

Saturday, February 23rd:
I think I'm almost over the winter blues and I think I'll be done having to purposely find the beauty very soon! Today's weather (65 and perfect sunny skies) is probably helping me get there. Driving around with the windows down all day was good stuff. Also yeah, still trying to get the poison ivy to heal. See arm scratches (but also sunshine!) below.

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:12-13

Creating Beauty

Tuesday, February 19th:
Any day that starts by having to pay your credit card bill after an 1100 mile roadtrip is probably going to be a pretty crappy day, but this one turned out to be exceptionally negative. Simply put, there are a lot of interpersonal dramas and issues within our staff that have been present since September but have yet to be resolved. I mostly just spent the whole day feeling annoyed. But I did have a few exceptionally God-filled moments today that I need to remain thankful for like taking the time to listen to family stories, look at pictures, and play Spiderman with a little boy who has spent the first few years of his life recovering from a pre-natal addiction to drugs. While I feel blessed to have had the chance to grow some family relationships today, I'm still in a generally terrible mood so I'm going to try to create my own beautiful moment of the day with something funny:


When Wyoming County cancels school for a "blizzard":

Locals:

Me:

Dinnertime at the center:

Putting together work orders for volunteers:

Expectation:

Reality:

When I emerge from the apartment for morning devotions:

When people find out how much I get paid:

When the Budweiser Clydesdale commercial from the Super Bowl comes on:

When my workday is over:

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven...A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance." Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

Back To Work

Sunday, February 17th- Monday, February 18th:
New volunteers from New Jersey have arrived and they're amazing. Our orientation with them took a full hour and a half because we were all laughing so much. When they first got here they immediately left to go visit the family they had worked for last year, which tells me they're a group that really understands what ASP is all about.

Even besides all those great qualities, this group has something that I always admire in volunteers--strong women. It's often really difficult to garner respect as a 22 year-old female construction manager--a common struggle for female ASP staffers. I find it heart-breaking that these kinds of stereotypes exist, and even though I would never go so far as to call myself a feminist, sexism is one issue that I really feel passionate about. I find encouragement, though, in women like the ones from this church. There are several who have never been to ASP, or even used power tools, and when I set them up at their worksite this morning they immediately assigned themselves a task and started doing demolition, no questions asked. Watching them and seeing their confidence and willingness on site is a true inspiration. I love that they don't feel a need to go to the men of their group for help and I wish more of the women that I meet felt this way, too. I generally make it my mission to try to empower all of the women who come to work, but it's always exciting when I don't have to.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

Beauty Catch-Up

Wednesday, February 6th:
Alright, so generally I try to stay away from politics. I find value in pondering "The Issues" but I struggle when it comes to talking about them. I've never voted for a president--in 2008 I was too young by 9 days and in 2012 Kalamazoo County and the West Virginia postal services failed me and I received my absentee ballot the day after the election. While I really cherish the right to be a part of the nation's future, I don't really mind that I haven't been able to vote since I'm kind of a commit-o-phobe towards political ideals and thus do not feel qualified to take a multiple choice test about them every November. Living in West Virginia especially has led me to believe that what might seem like perfect answers to big problems in the nation/world are usually not perfect for everyone. Walking the political line between being an "enlightened" college graduate and being someone living in a real world of American poverty is an eyeopening, but frustrating, experience. For now, understanding all of my own political beliefs seems like a far off dream but I'm enjoying working on it one issue at a time.

So naturally, like any selfish American, I'm first drawn to the parts of politics that will affect me the most. Most recently, ObamaCare, since this is something that will affect me and my family as consumers of healthcare as well as my own future as a provider of it. I spent another day shadowing at the clinic and learned a lot of interesting insights about how this new policy will affect rural health and rural physicians. My initial thoughts on the Affordable Healthcare Act were ones of excitement. It was hard to have spent so much time with people I care so much about, knowing they don't have access to healthcare. But talking with Kelli at the clinic has brought some changes. Currently, the clinic runs on a policy where people who don't qualify for medicare but can't afford their own policy can still have office visits and pay on a sliding scale carefully calculated based on income and household size. This will no longer be the case once things begin to set in place, resulting in unaffordable co-pays and more visits to emergency rooms. Physicians will be reimbursed by insurance companies based on a patient-per-day salary, removing any incentive for those providers to stay a full day once that quota has been met. This results in a lack of availability of care for patients who need help, and eventually will create a classist system of medicine where those who can afford better healthcare will go to better health institutions paid for by their private insurance companies. These private locations will eventually draw all of the best doctors (because they will be the highest paid positions) and the poor in America will lose out on quality of care. Further, there will be a Meaningful Use clause, which my dad aptly pointed out to me, seems to be changing the healthcare system to mirror the public education system...and I think we all know how well that is working out. This clause says that insurance companies can access patient logs and use objective "progress" markers in cases to award bonuses to physicians. Seems like a great system, right?--Doctors who are doing right by their patients and helping them get better get paid more than ones who aren't. So what if, like a teacher in a district where the kids and parents don't care about education, you practice medicine in, say, southwest West Virginia where the majority of people are fat, smoke, and believe too much in the magic of Mountain Dew? Well, that would probably mean that no matter how many antibiotics you prescribe, tumors you help remove or conditions you treat, people won't change their lifestyles and you'll never see any extra money. So good luck recruiting physicians to work in rural areas where this will be the issue, but sadly where the most help is needed.

Although I'm pretty sure that no one really understands how things in medicine will really change, I find these new insights to be really distressing. While I mourn for the possible impending downfall of quality healthcare, I also feel even more called towards this vocation to try to fight it.

There is beauty in clarity and understanding, I'm sure, but I also find it in the process of seeking answers and that's what I have today.

Thursday, February 7th:
Today was busy--I spent it making arrangements for my time at home and making sure everything I need for the volunteers, who will arrive when I get back, is all done. Although I don't feel like I've been stressed this whole winter and so am in need of a break, it is nice to know that I'm going to have some time to relax at home before things get really crazy. Late in the day I helped Stan and Larry with some yardwork. This resulted in my first experience with poison ivy. So itchy. Any assistance in finding the beauty in life's curveballs is appreciated. For now, I'll use my calamine lotion to cheers to karma. Apologies to my staff in WV for deserting them this week, but they should know that it's not all roses here in MI.

Friday, February 8th-Saturday February 16th:
I'M AT HOME!!! And I have this lovely companion to keep me company when the folks here have to stop entertaining me and go back to their real lives.

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." John 13:34-35

Crafts!

Tuesday, February 5th:

Today I had some time for a DIY project. I borrowed this idea from a friend, but I'm really happy with the way it turned out. My mom sent a Valentine's Day card that was filled with little red confetti hearts and ended up being the perfect addition to my craft.

All the places I've called home

I Like Mountains.

Friday, February 1st- Sunday, February 2nd:

This weekend my staff and the other Lilly Fellows went to a retreat/revival conference in Gatlinburg, TN, home of the Great Smokies. While the weekend was supposed to be a new and unique way to experience God and learn together, and I did my best to have an open mind, I ended up just feeling a lot of disappointment.

It was a 6 hour drive to get there.
The roads through the Smokies were closed.
The motivational speaker was into talking (yelling) about God. I know that's supposed to seem like a good thing, but I'm almost positive that Jesus might even have rolled his eyes and made a few sarcastic comments.
The motivational speaker was into bad metaphors and statements. For example: "So when you buy an iPhone, you're actually buying courage" or "I know who will win the Super Bowl--whichever team shows up to play"
The motivational speaker was into talking (bragging) about his church and his book.
The motivational speaker was just, frankly, not very motivating. He showed the last scene from the movie Pursuit of Happyness (where Will Smith, playing Chris Gardner, is finally given the job) but explained nothing beforehand about who this man was, or how much he struggled financially and emotionally. Just showing the whole movie would have been more effective than his talk.
Then, it was a 6 hour drive back.

But then there's this all in one weekend and it's all worth it.

Driving to Gatlinburg after a light snow

Random field at the base of the mountains

Great Smokies from a cemetery near our cabin

Monday, February 4th:
Today was the first day of my staff's adventure to become VIPPs (Very Important Parks Person). We registered online and now we have to travel to 15 required state parks and 5 elective parks or state forests in West Virginia. When we complete the program we get a VIPP jacket. Totally awesome, right? We started today by visiting two required parks and an elective--Bluestone, Pipestem and Pinnacle Rock, respectively. These parks were all in a loop through Bluefield, WV where I was on ASP staff in 2010. We had lunch at an old favorite restaurant with two of the most special women in my life--both from families that I worked for that summer. It's always incredible to see how much the relationship of these next door neighbors has grown since that time and I believe that the shared experience of having ASP volunteers at their houses for an entire summer was a major part of that. I was so happy to share their light (and spunk) with my staff. There was a lot of beauty today so I don't think that I can name just one thing, but that's probably how it should be!

Bluestone State Park

"Greet each other with Christian love. Peace be with all of you who are in Christ." 1 Peter 5:14